In time

i feel kissed.
i feel kissed all over again,
not by the nothingness of everything,
but by the existence.
the warmth of a touch,
that i imagined in an everyday,
the loss,
the remanants of a space,
the unused emotions.

i feel touched,
touched by the wind.
the wind that changed course,
the road of tomorrow and the dream.

today i felt you,
not you because u are dead.
but i felt you in my mind,
where you lay for ages,
turning everytime a little more towards me,
and fearing my gaze.

today i felt you all over again,
like you never existed,
a place in my senses,
a chalking down memory lane.
and with that i placed you,
your dead body over and over again.
your head first,
because your feet should be my last touch.
your now disturbing existence,
in my tears of closeness,
in my head of a million smiles,
but in my mind of a thousand scratches.

the very very small memories of expanses,
uncharted flights,
my wings,
my faith,
my love,
my you,
for you,
to you,
in you.

your death completes a peace in me,
my heart wants to cry and cry and cry over you,
a quiet not of my solitude,
i want to hold you forever, in an eternal moment.
unspoken words,
never understood me.
completed silences,
always.
distance kept us.
we never did,
never,
never,
...... we just dint.