I thought i would pray today

what if one day you do find god,
and he tells you all your prayers were true.
and you ask him
how he knew as much.
and he tells you he heard them
through and through.

you tell him you had feared this day,
when he looked in your eyes
and you saw him see the pain,
and a tear rolled down
and you told him its in vain...

-'cause a life is too short,
to have believed and questioned,
and trusted and lost,
as many times to one being again...-

my fight is not with you my lord,
it is with my own faith...
which fractures my being everytime
and yet i give it all the faith again...